Gorgias

My latest sandwich, jesus crap dammit, it is the best. Here. Take a fresh bun of bread, some nice shit you can find in a real bakery. Don’t be cheap, ’cause it will taste like shit. Slice it in two parts and put them on a plate, like real nice. Fuck yes, this is going to be great. Slice your tomato like it’s nobody’s business, and don’t keep those parts too big because they’ll fall off when you’re eating and there’s fucking tomato shit on your pants so be careful and cut ’em up well. Mix some arugula, no cheap stuff, with iceberg salad and add some salt and pepper while you cram it on top of the buns. Don’t overdo it, it’s gonna taste terrible, so don’t overdo it. Did you already slice up the mozzarella? This is the moment, dude, shiiiiit. Slice it in tiny bits and spread them over the arugula mixture crap and don’t make it too wet because your bread will be all soggy which completely sucks and is like the hallmark of bad sandwich land and you just want a real nice sandwich am I right? Just layer the tomato bits on top of that and add some red onion slices and tiny pieces of like a nice pickle to it and then probably get like a fork and knife, because this bitch will eat like shit with your hands, so cut it and eat it like a fucking human being and not a dog. You’re not a dog if you can prepare a damn sandwich, I always say, so eat it like not a dog.