Gorgias

Another day in the life of a total asshole of a doctor. A new patient walks in. He’s roughly 23, and while not too handsome, he seems capable of lifting weights and scoring chicks (probably fat ones, the doctor thinks, and you can see him think this). He doesn’t seem to feel too comfortable walking. His left foot slightly jerks when he lifts it.

“What seems to be the problem?”
“Hi, I think I may have taken a wrong step at some point, last Tuesday.”
“Okay.”
“And it hurts. Like, in the sole of my foot. Inside that arched dome of flesh. Fleshy dome.”
“Yeesh. And?”
“It hurts. A lot. When I walk.”
“That’s bad, right? When you try to walk and it hurts? Okay.”
“Yes, that is bad. You’re the doctor, though, tell me how bad.”
“Oh, no no, we don’t know yet — hey, have I told you you look just like my son?”
“Oh, uh, that’s uh nice. You have one son?”
“No, I don’t have kids, actually. But had I one, you’d probably look like him. You look nice.”
“…”
“Show me your foot. Which foot? Show it to me. Me me.”
“It’s my left foot. Here.”
“Hm. Hmmm. Hhmmm. Ah. What if I press here? Yeah, that does hurt, right. Shit, I thought so. You’re gonna have to see a doctor about that.”
“What?”
“See a doctor about that foot of yours, man. It must hurt like hell.”
“It does, it does. But you’re a doctor. I mean, you’re my doctor. That’s why I came here.”
“Oooh boy, oh no no no, heh heh. I see your mistake. No, I’m a doctor, but I’m not that kind of doctor.” Asshole M.D. winks, grins and coughs. Worst son of a bitch in the area.