Gorgias

I’m the kind of guy with like his own minibar, right, so I love making up drinks that are ridiculous yet plausible, so this time, uh, yesterday, I walked up to the bar, dodged a woman destined for one sad night alone with a bucket and told the guy to make me an Ebony and Ivory, shaken, like “hey Guy, make me an Ebony and Ivory, shaken and with a like straw on the side”, and he looked at me puzzled, and I told him, with these diminutive self-defeating gestures — as if it’s totally obvious, whatever, but sure I’ll remind you — “you throw Kahlua and some Coke, like, a thirds of the Kahlua and two thirds Coke and then shake it”, and the Guy pointed at me with his right index digit and winked with a lopsided grin, as if he “got it”. So he stood there with the Kahlua, and this fetching lady of a woman turns around on her barstool and looks at me and silently says, “are you always this much of a jerk?” as the Guy is getting sprayed in a foul mixture of cream liqueur and sugary soda.